Hey there, Fellow Fighters (and Control-Freak Enthusiasts)!
Let’s talk about something that’s been with us since the dawn of time: the Lion within each of us.
The part of us that ROARS when things go sideways, ready to pounce on anything that even thinks about threatening our peace. You know the one—hair trigger, heart racing, ready to go all "King/Queen of the Jungle" on whatever (or whoever) gets in the way.
Today we're exploring the automatic survival response of Fight mode, also known as Lion mode.
Meet Your Inner Lion: The Fight Mode Mascot
Think of this lion as the ultimate security system: always on guard, always vigilant, always ready to protect.
Sure, this lion might look fierce, but let’s be real—it’s also exhausted.
Hypervigilance (fancy word for “I see you, I see everything”) can be a full-time job, and our inner lion is working overtime. Imagine wearing a “Do Not Disturb” sign but still answering every knock at the door. Exhausting, right? That’s what it’s like for your nervous system when it’s stuck in Fight Mode.
Anger: The Fuel of the Fight
When our lion feels cornered, it ROARS. Anger flares up, and suddenly, everyone’s either an ally or an enemy. Ever felt like you could win gold in the Olympic sport of “being pissed off”? Yep, that’s your lion in action. But anger isn’t just about shouting at traffic or being the reigning champion of passive-aggressive comments at family dinners. It’s also about self-directed rage—hello, self-destructive tendencies! (Because what’s a lion without a little internal battle, right?)
Control Freaks, Unite!
Who here loves control? (My fellow Type-A’s, I see you!) In Fight Mode, control isn’t just a preference; it’s a survival skill. Whether it’s planning every detail to avoid the unknown or micromanaging everything and everyone, it’s our lion trying to keep chaos at bay. Spoiler alert: Control is an illusion. But, hey, let’s not try to tame this lion just yet...
Critical Kitty
This lion isn’t just protective—it’s also picky. Super picky. As in, “You missed a comma in that email, and now I can’t stop thinking about it” picky. It’s easy to turn that laser-sharp criticism inward or outward. But remember, that critical voice is just your lion trying to keep you safe by making sure everything is just so. Cut yourself (and others) some slack—this lion could use a nap.
Embrace the ROAR
So, what do we do with this lion? First, give it a little love. It’s been through a lot.
Second, recognize when the lion is showing up.
Can you notice when you're going into lion mode? Can you spot it when your partner/parent/friend/colleague is in lion mode? What about that driver who just honked at you? -- there are a lot of lions in Boston traffic. When you notice the lion within yourself, it’s time to let the lion rest. We don’t have to be on guard 24/7. It’s okay to say, "Thank you lion-part for trying to protect me. I see you."
Can you also see that in this moment it is safe to let go, to trust, and to step away from the battle? And if that lion insists on roaring, maybe remind it that there’s more to life than just survival. There’s also Netflix and snacks.
If your inner lion is doing more harm than good, it’s okay to seek help. I can help you to tame the beast if she keeps popping out at the most inconvenient times.
Therapy can be a great way to learn how to soothe that lion and teach it that the world isn’t always out to get you. Even if it feels that way sometimes.
It’s time to turn down the roar and find some peace.
Feeling like a curious cat about trauma? Take a look at this free handout below (the inspiration behind today’s email) to help you understand why your mind and body sometimes react like they’re starring in their own nature documentary.
Until next time, stay fierce—but maybe also take a cat nap.
Best,
Hannah Kanter, LICSW
Healing with Hannah
Comments