🦡 Playing Possum? Let’s Talk About the Art of Doing... Nothing 🦡

Hey there, Professional People-Pleasers (and Fellow Possums),

 

Ever feel like life has you so beat that all you want to do is curl up and play dead?

 

Welcome to the world of your inner possum—the master of submission, collapse, and that “I give up” attitude we’ve all felt at one point or another. Let’s dive into why sometimes, the best defense feels like doing absolutely nothing.

 

Meet Your Inner Possum: The Ultimate Surrender Specialist

 

Picture this: Life throws you a curveball, and instead of dodging, you just flop over like, “Nope, not today!” That’s your inner possum taking the wheel. When things get too overwhelming, the possum’s strategy is simple: don’t fight, don’t flee, just... collapse. Play dead.  

Feeling Numb? The Possum’s Got You Covered

 

When the possum takes over, everything feels a little... muted. You’re not exactly sad, but you’re not exactly anything else either. It’s like living in a world where all the colors are turned down to grayscale. Your possum doesn’t have the bandwidth to deal with those pesky emotions; it’s too burned out. Put on real pants? Not a chance.  

Ashamed & Depressed: The Possum’s Favorite Hoodie

 

Shame and depression go hand in hand with the possum. Sometimes this is also called “hypoarousal,” as it’s the exact opposite of feeling on guard and alert. When life feels too heavy to carry, the possum responds by collapsing under the weight. It’s that moment when you feel like you’ve let everyone down—yourself included—and all you want to do is hide under the covers and hope the world forgets you exist.  

Zoned Out & Numb: The Possum’s Go-To Moves

  

Ever find yourself zoning out in the middle of a conversation, a meeting, or even a Netflix binge? That’s your possum going into shutdown mode. It’s easier to dissociate and mentally float away on a cloud of nothingness than to engage with what’s happening around you. The possum says, “Why feel anything when you can feel nothing?”

 

Caretaker Mode: The Possum’s Misguided Attempt at Submission

 

But wait, there’s a twist! While your inner possum might seem like it’s all about throwing in the towel, it’s secretly a master at caregiving. When life spins out of control, the possum shifts into martyr mode. Babies can’t change their own diapers, right? And your loved one’s chronic illness isn’t getting better by itself. The possum will gladly sacrifice its own needs to keep everyone else afloat. The problem? If it leaves you exhausted and resentful, it’s not doing anyone any favors.

 

Waving the White Flag at Life: The Possum’s Surrender Strategy

 

When the going gets tough, the possum says, “Fine, you win, life. I’m done.” It’s not that you don’t care; it’s that caring feels too exhausting. Compliance and self-sacrifice become the default settings, and before you know it, you’re saying “yes” to everything and everyone, except yourself.  

Un-Possum Yourself

 

So, how do you get out of possum mode? 

 

First, recognize when you’re in it. It’s okay to feel down or numb sometimes, but don’t let that be your permanent address. 

 

Next, remind yourself that it’s okay to take care of yourself before others (really, it is!).

 

Put your own oxygen mask on first, as the flight attendants say. 

 

Oh, and maybe try going to Al-Anon, which is a free 12-step program for people (family or friends) who are worried about someone with a drinking problem.  

And if your inner possum is still leading you down a path of hopelessness, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Therapy can be a great way to wake that possum up and find your way back to the land of the living.

 

For today, try to ask your inner-possum to wait in the car while you go out and vote in the big election -- if you haven't done so yet.

 

Remember, it’s okay to play possum when life gets overwhelming—just don’t stay there forever. Especially on election day. You’ve got more life to live, and the world needs you awake and engaged, not pretending to be a rug.

 

In the meantime, take a look at this free handout below (the inspiration behind today’s email) to help you understand why your mind and body sometimes react like they’re starring in their own nature documentary.

 

Until next time, keep moving forward—one step at a time!

 

Best,

Hannah Kanter, LICSW

Healing with Hannah

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FREE HANDOUT on Automatic Survival Defenses

Strength of All Parts - Survival Defenses.pdf

Download PDF • 405KB

Statue of someone feeling hopeless, curling up and playing dead