Is Your “Unwind Time” Winding You Up?

One of my favorite ways to relax is by watching a good British murder mystery. There’s something so cozy about the accents, the rainy countryside, and a clever detective piecing together clues.

But recently, I noticed something interesting: even though it’s “me time,” my brain is still soaking in stories about danger, victimization, and fight-or-flight responses.

Sound familiar?

What we do to relax matters, especially when we’re trying to heal from anxiety or trauma.

Sometimes, our downtime habits might inadvertently keep our stress response on high alert. If this resonates, it might be time to refresh your approach to relaxation as we enter into 2025 with a creative exercise inspired by Lisa Ferentz, LICSW, from her book Treating Self-Destructive Behaviors in Trauma Survivors:

The “Hobbies Audit” Exercise:

1. Grab a large piece of paper and divide it into three columns (you can fold it or draw two vertical lines).

2. In the center column, use markers, colored pencils, or even simple words to represent your current hobbies and recreational activities. Include things you do alone and with others.

3. In the left column, do the same for hobbies and activities you used to enjoy in the past.

4. In the right column, illustrate or list activities you’d like to try in the future.

Now take a step back and reflect. Without judgment, notice:

• Are there similarities or differences between these columns?

• How much comfort, joy, connection, or lightheartedness do these activities bring you?

• Are there any past hobbies you’d like to reintroduce?

As Ferentz writes,

“Notice the extent to which these experiences impart comfort, relaxation, competence, joy, connection to others, and lightheartedness.

Take note of the things you no longer do, and spend some time thinking about why. The reason may be quite practical.

Or it may be possible that some of the activities can be reintroduced into your life.

Now spend some time processing the images associated with what you’d like to do in the future.” (p. 229).

Can you identify one activity that feels nourishing or soothing in your "future" column?

What steps could you take this week to make it happen? 

This idea aligns beautifully with Dialectical Behavioral Therapy’s (DBT) Emotion Regulation: Pleasant Activities List (free download below), which includes 225 activities designed to boost emotional well-being by intentionally incorporating joy and relaxation into your life.

These activities range from reading a book to gardening, dancing, or trying something new. The goal is to create balance between work and play.

For me, this exercise was a nudge to mix in some lighthearted novels with my mysteries—and to finally sign up for that group workout class I’ve been curious about.

What’s one hobby or activity you’d love to revisit or try for the first time?

Warmly,

Hannah

DBT Pleasant Events List.pdf

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