Managers vs. Firefighters: The Internal Politics of Your Brain
- Hannah Kanter
- Mar 17
- 3 min read
Over the past two weeks, we’ve been diving into the two unsung protectors of your internal system: Managers and Firefighters. Think of them as your inner corporate team—except instead of running a business, they’re running your life. Or at least trying to.
Who Are the Managers?
Picture that overly organized coworker who’s always one color-coded spreadsheet ahead of everyone else. That’s your internal Manager. They’re proactive, cautious, and exhausted.
Their job? To keep your vulnerable, emotional Exiles locked away for “the greater good.” (Translation: so you don’t crumble in the middle of Trader Joe’s because a song reminded you of your middle school crush.)
Manager Fun Facts:
They’re terrified of anything unpredictable.
They carry the weight of all your fears and responsibilities.
Their motto is “NEVER AGAIN.” Whether it’s heartbreak, embarrassment, or that time you accidentally replied-all on an email—you name it, they’re trying to make sure it doesn’t happen twice.
The Manager Vibe:
“Get your act together.”
“No, we don’t have time to cry, we’ve got a to-do list.”
“If we control everything, nothing bad will happen, right? RIGHT?”
But here’s the kicker: even the best Managers can’t prevent everything. And when things fall apart, they call in the Firefighters.
Who Are the Firefighters?
Firefighters are like the office wild cards—equal parts effective and chaotic. They don’t care about protocols or long-term consequences. Their only focus? Putting out emotional fires right now.
Firefighter Fun Facts:
They actually like their job and will tell you so.
They’re reactive, not proactive—think dissociation, late-night texts, or eating a pint of ice cream because feelings are hard.
They don’t worry about collateral damage (sorry, carpet).
The Firefighter Vibe:
“This is bad. Let’s fix it immediately, no matter what.”
“Eat the cookie, drink the wine, send the text—it’ll totally help.”
“Oh, consequences? Never heard of them.”
But here’s the thing: Firefighters often feel rejected or ashamed after the chaos dies down. It’s like they know their methods aren’t great, but hey, they were just trying to help.
Managers vs. Firefighters: A System in Conflict
Managers and Firefighters both have the same goal: keeping you safe and stable (homeostasis, if we’re getting fancy). But they go about it in wildly different ways.
Managers are planners.
Firefighters are reactors.
Managers are the “straight-A student” parts of you.
Firefighters are the ones sneaking out past curfew.
They don’t always see eye to eye, and honestly? They’re probably passive-aggressively emailing each other in your head.
Why They Deserve Some Love
Here’s the plot twist: both Managers and Firefighters are trying to protect you. Their methods may not always be great (or even helpful), but their intentions are solid.
Managers are trying to prevent pain.
Firefighters are trying to stop the pain you’re already feeling.
Neither group is “bad.” They’re just doing the best they can with the tools they have.
How to Keep the PeaceWhen you start to notice your inner Managers and Firefighters in action, take a beat. Instead of judging them, try the Six F's of Internal Family System. The FREE handout is attached below.
Essentially, you want to notice the part, find the part, feel the part, befriend the part, find their fear (why they do what they do), and see if they need to feel you. Often we have to remind our protector parts that you're all grown up now and the grown up, wise adult knows how to be with big scary feelings and move through them.
Managers and Firefighters may seem like total opposites, but they’re both vital parts of your internal system. By understanding their roles—and giving them a little compassion—you can help them work with you instead of against each other.
Until next time, remember: you're not crazy, you're just a human with parts.
Best,
Hannah
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