Self-Criticism Loves Logic—Especially When You Have Anxiety

"Since there’s always room for improvement, you can always justify your self-criticism with logic." – Margaret Lynch, EFT genius

Let’s be real: self-criticism is sneaky. It doesn’t come barging in, screaming, “You suck!” (Well… sometimes it does). But more often, it shows up in a clever little disguise called logic.

You know the drill. “I should’ve phrased that better.” “I could’ve worked harder.” “If only I had done XYZ, then maybe everything wouldn’t feel like a dumpster fire right now.”

Anxiety lives for this game. It feeds on should-haves, could-haves, and what-ifs, spinning perfectly rational-sounding arguments that make self-criticism feel not just valid—but necessary. And because we can always find ways we might improve, those critical thoughts start to sound reasonable. Even helpful.

But here’s the problem: just because something sounds logical doesn’t mean it’s true—or kind, or helpful, or good for your nervous system.

There’s an old saying: you’re just putting quarters in the ass-kicking machine. That voice in your head that’s dissecting your every move? It doesn’t need fuel. It needs to go out and play.

Most people who struggle with self-criticism are actually deeply conscientious. You care about doing things well. You reflect. You want to grow.

But instead of honoring those traits with compassion, your brain hijacks the situation to keep you stuck in a loop of not-good-enough.

Try this the next time your brain tries to “logically” beat you up:

• Pause.

• Take a breath.

• Ask: Would I say this to a friend?

• And then remind yourself: Criticism isn’t the same as care.
  

You don’t need to earn your worth by being flawless. 

Your work is not your worth. 

The shape of your body is not a determination of your self-worth. 

Outsides don’t equate to insides, they just reflect beliefs you’ve dragged with you over the years. 

You're allowed to mess up and be lovable. You're allowed to reflect without self-attack.

And you’re allowed to unplug that ass-kicking machine—because honestly, you’ve paid enough already.

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