You're Doing a Good Job: Simple Skills to Practice Self-Compassion

It’s easy to be hard on ourselves, especially when we’re navigating the effects of trauma.

But self-compassion is about treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we would offer a friend. 

When we face our pain, it’s important to be gentle with ourselves.

This means acknowledging our emotions without judgment and giving ourselves permission to feel whatever comes up.

Healing isn’t about getting everything right—it’s a process, and it’s okay to have bad days. 

Self-compassion can be a powerful tool in this journey. It helps us build resilience and fosters a more positive self-image. That said, it might feel weird at first—because you’re not used to doing it. It’s like brushing your teeth for the first time—unfamiliar and unnatural.

But just like with anything new, the more you practice, the more natural it becomes. 

Louise Hay, one of the greatest champions of self-compassion (and one of my heroes), often used affirmations like, "I approve of myself. I love and accept myself."

If positive affirmations feel helpful to you, this can be a great place to start. 

For more guided practices—including journaling exercises and meditations—Dr. Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion is amazing. You can explore her resources here: https://self-compassion.org/. 

Next time you catch yourself being self-critical, thank your inner critic for trying to help, then try to pause and offer yourself some compassion instead.

How do you practice self-compassion?

If you're not sure, let’s explore some ways together. 

Warmly,

Hannah Kanter, LICSW

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