Understanding Neglect – Recognizing signs of neglect and addressing its impacts.

Sometimes, clients come to me struggling to put into words what happened when they were younger. A part of them feels like their childhood was normal—after all, their parents, siblings, or cultural experiences seemed typical. But another part of them knows they didn’t get the care they needed.

Neglect is one of the more invisible forms of harm. Unlike physical or emotional abuse, which involves direct actions, neglect is about what was missing—care, support, or attention that should have been there but wasn’t. This absence can have a deep and lasting impact, even when it’s hard to recognize or name.

Because neglect often operates in the background, its effects can show up in everyday struggles, sometimes in ways we don’t immediately connect to our past. Some common indicators include: 

• Poor hygiene and grooming – Growing up without guidance on basic self-care can lead to struggling with things like brushing your teeth regularly, showering, or wearing clean clothes. 
  

• Inappropriate clothing for the weather – Wearing shorts in the winter or a heavy sweater in the summer might have been normal because no one was paying attention. 
  

• Frequent absences from school or work – If no one noticed (or cared) whether you made it to school, it might be hard to develop consistency in work or other commitments. 
  

• Untreated medical conditions – Whether it was cavities, broken bones, glasses, or mental health needs, not getting proper care as a child can make it difficult to prioritize your health as an adult. 
  

• Developmental delays or learning difficulties – Struggling in school or falling behind socially and academically because no one was there to help with homework, encourage learning, or offer emotional support. 
  

• Withdrawal or lack of social interaction – If emotional connection was missing in childhood, relationships might feel confusing, exhausting, or even unsafe now. 
  

If you’ve ever wondered why certain struggles feel so hard to shake or why relationships, self-worth, or emotional regulation feel challenging, it might be worth exploring the role of neglect. It’s not about blaming the past—it’s about understanding how unmet needs shape us and, more importantly, how we can begin to meet those needs now. 

Healing from neglect is possible. It starts with recognizing what was missing and giving yourself the care, support, and validation you always deserved. If this resonates with you, I’d love to help you explore it further in a way that feels safe and supportive. 

You don’t have to figure this out alone. If you’re ready to talk, I’m here.