Navigating Ambiguous Grief: Embracing the Waves of Emotion

A quiet moment, a single droplet—ambiguous grief often shows up like this: gentle, unexpected, and deeply felt.

You might have noticed by now the past few emails have been talking about grief.

But here's the thing: Grief isn’t always clear-cut. And it's not always about the loss of a person or fur-baby. Sometimes it's about the loss of a friend, one's health, a job, a home, a beloved object, or a moment in time.

People can grieve for what they didn’t receive—love, attention, affection, support.

Sometimes, grief arrives like an unexpected guest, lingering in ways that are difficult to understand or explain.

Ambiguous grief, where the loss feels uncertain or incomplete, can feel especially confusing. It’s like trying to mourn something you didn’t know how to mourn at the time, or something that doesn’t have a clear resolution. But even in this ambiguity, grief has something valuable to teach us.

Grief as Clarity for Unexpressed Emotions

Sometimes, grief is simply clarity for the sadness that another part of you has carried—often a part that wasn’t able to express its grief before. Think about the parts of us that hold the unspoken, the unshed tears, the feelings we couldn’t process at the time of a loss. For example, a child who lost a loved one but didn’t have the language or space to mourn may carry that grief quietly inside them for years. As an adult, this grief may surface unexpectedly, bringing a sense of sadness that feels confusing or out of place.

In these moments, it’s important to understand that this grief is a natural part of your emotional evolution. It’s your heart finally catching up to an experience that wasn’t fully processed. Rather than pushing it away, try to meet this grief with compassion and patience, allowing it to flow through you without judgment.

Grief as a Friend

While it may seem counterintuitive, grief can also be a friend. It’s not an enemy to be defeated, but an old companion, asking for your attention. If you can, try to practice welcoming grief as you might greet the Earth element—with gratitude, gentleness, and acceptance. Grief, in all its forms, is a part of being human. And just like the Earth, it provides us with a space to ground, to reflect, and to heal.

This doesn’t mean grief is easy or without pain, but it does mean that it’s part of a natural process that can ultimately lead to greater peace and understanding. Grief helps us connect with the depth of our emotions, helping us navigate life in a more authentic way.

A Poem to Hold Grief With Kindness

If you're struggling to understand your grief or just need a reminder that it’s okay to let it in, I’ve found a beautiful poem that might resonate with you. It’s called The Guest House by Rumi, and it speaks to the idea that all emotions—grief included—deserve a place in our hearts.

You can read it here: The Guest House.

The poem encourages us to welcome all emotions, even the painful ones, as temporary guests in our home. “Welcome them all,” it says, “even if they are a crowd of sorrows.”

Grief, like all emotions, is just another visitor, passing through.

And yes, I loved this poem and others like it so much I even named by cat after the author, Rumi.

Being Gentle with Yourself

If you find yourself overwhelmed by grief, remember to be gentle with yourself. It may come in waves, sometimes crashing in ways that feel unpredictable, but each wave will eventually recede. This is a process, not something to fix or rush through. Just like the tides, grief moves in and out. You can’t control it, but you can learn to navigate it with more compassion.

So, as you face your own grief—whether it’s ambiguous or more defined—know that it’s a part of your journey, not a destination.

Honor it, sit with it, and let it move through you in its own time.

And remember, you’re not alone.

May you be gentle with yourself and the grief as it comes in waves.

With kindness,

Hannah