Overwhelmed? Try These Quick-Action Calming Hacks

Picture from: Swift, T. (2019). You need to calm down [Music video]. On Lover. Taylor Swift Productions.

Ever feel like your emotions are like trying to steer a car on an icy road with no brakes?

Enter TIP skills—a quick pit stop to recalibrate your body chemistry and bring your emotions back into balance.

These Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) techniques are for those moments when, as T. Swift sings, "YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!"

 TIP is like first aid for emotional overload. Let’s break it down:

T: Temperature Change

When life turns up the heat, cool it down—literally. Last month I sent out an entire email focused on this skill alone – Ice, Ice, baby! Missed it? Check it out here. 

• Dunk your face in a bowl of ice-water, like biscotti in coffee. You could also splash your forehead with cold water (keep it above 50°F) or hold a cold pack on your eyes and cheeks.

• Hold your breath for up to 30 seconds while bending over into the cold ice water to activate the “dive response,” which tells your body to slow down.

• Pro tip: This works best while sitting quietly, so no multitasking!

Caution: Cold water can impact heart rate rapidly. If you have any medical concerns (e.g., heart conditions), check with your healthcare provider first.

I: Intense Exercise

Feel like your body’s revved up and won’t stop? Burn off that excess energy!

• Go for a run, do jumping jacks, dance to your favorite playlist, or lift some weights.

• Even a few minutes of intense movement can help regulate those overwhelming feelings.

P: Paced Breathing

Breathe in, breathe out—slowly.

• Inhale deeply into your belly for 5 seconds, and exhale slowly for 7 seconds.

• Bonus points if you feel your shoulders drop a little with each exhale. 

P: Paired Muscle Relaxation

Sometimes tension takes over. Meet it head-on:

• Take a deep belly breath and tighten your muscles (not to the point of cramping, though!). 

  • Squeeze your hands into fists, pull your shoulders up to your ears, etc. 

• Hold for a moment, then exhale while mentally saying, “Let go.”

• Notice the difference as the tension leaves your body. 

Why TIP Works

These skills don’t just “sound nice”—they work by directly engaging your body’s physiology: 

• Cold water taps into your natural “dive response,” which slows your heart rate and calms your nervous system.

• Exercise releases pent-up energy that fuels emotional intensity.

• Breathing and muscle relaxation help override the fight-or-flight frenzy. 

When to Use TIP

Feeling overwhelmed, distressed, or on the brink of reacting in a way you might regret? TIP is your toolkit for those “I need to calm down right now” moments. 

Give it a try and see what works for you. These skills might just become your go-to in moments of emotional chaos.

And if you're ready to dive deeper into these skills, join my 6-week DBT group, where we’ll explore these techniques and more, all while building a supportive community.

Let’s weather those emotional storms together—and belt out some T. Swift tunes while we’re at it!

Warm wishes,

Hannah Kanter, LICSW

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Rewrite of "You Need to Calm Down" by Taylor Swift, infused with TIP skills-inspired content:

You’re feeling revved up, like you’re out of control,

Your heart’s racing fast, and it’s taking a toll.

But there’s a trick, yeah, to turn it around,

Here’s how to calm down.

Dive into cold, splash water on your face,

Take a deep breath, let your heart find its pace.

Run it out, move your body like a champ,

Or slow your breathing, make the chaos decamp.

You need to calm down, (oh-oh)

You’re feeling too loud. (oh-oh)

Take a second and breathe it out,

You need to calm down.

Tense your muscles, then let it all go,

Feel the release as you take it slow.

It’s a reset button, a moment of peace,

Let that distress decrease.

Splash, breathe, stretch, and run if you dare,

These little tricks show your brain you care.

It’s science-backed, yeah, and it works every time,

So give it a try—feeling calm is sublime.

You need to calm down, (oh-oh)

You’re feeling too loud. (oh-oh)

Take a second and breathe it out,

You need to calm down.

And we see you over there,

With emotions everywhere.

You just need a little care,

Yeah, you’ve got this, don’t despair.

You need to calm down, (oh-oh)

You’re feeling too loud. (oh-oh)

TIP your way back to solid ground,

You need to calm down.